ohmy! i just saw something.i shall not decieve myself anymore.silly!yes i am.i admit! i really hope i can ignore you forever. ever ever...pissed!! angry beyond vulgarities! and i cnt do anyting. i really cannot do anyting. if i like u, i will definitely confessed which i tink i already did. i am not a person who can hide my feelings.then u say its too early to talk about r/s. so wad?! asking me to give up? or there is still a chance? i dont know. sometimes i tink that u r sooo good, like within 1 week, can here many good stories of u.den some one fine day,i see things that i really dont want to see. yes!... seeee! i dont trust wad ppl saying bad abt him but i can trust ppl toking gd abt him. funny right.. but i tink ppl seldom tok abt good stuffs and spread arnd, so i got arnd 100% sure that wad i hear is correct.maybe no one is perfect, deep in my heart, i am just moulding u into "my" guy which is ver bad.i noe.. maybe i am too possessive.. i tried to stopp everyting, not initiating anything at all. but evytime i c ur msg, evyting jus come back.i jus helplessly chatted with u, it always ended with u happy and me sad tone. and i always ended "happy" but deep down, heart torn! scarily, helplessly falling into a whirlpool. actually i can do someting, just ignore u forever lor.but i cant bring myself to do this...maybe jus be as confident as possible, achieve something!! let u see, i am really independent. but i am too lazy..haha!! and ur EQ so high, i really feel inferior when i stand beside u..but i tink i am jus blinded by love la..haha.suan liao..let it be..just go by my feelings. i tell myself, since i want to give in so much, it's my will, i should not expect anyting in return! but i really donoe how deeply will i give in, someone, anyone, pls wake me up and enlighten me! or maybe, can someone enlighten him, tell him not to play with my feelings. dont like me, of course i can accept. just tell me! dont let it hang there, like i am ur spare tyre. dont msg me unneccesarily too! urhg! i really donoe wad you want la. but i noe deep down, i dont want to start a r/s with anyone, except u. at least this is wad i am tinking now...n i donoe the nxt minute will i change my mind, cos being so well known for my fickle mindedness! maybe tmr morning its different story!! HAHA! ok not bad, started typing this post with an angry plus sad tone, but ended with a happy mood.haha.not bad. blogging help sometimes! and i tink this is the longest post that i have typed in my entire blogging life! <3 !